defending summer finn, the failed candid girlfriend

a character analysis and written defense of the (500) days of summer character summer finn

One of the most misunderstood movies of the 2000s is (500) Days of Summer (2009). Some viewers obsess over who the villain is, while some think it’s an “in another life” type of romance. I call this a horror movie because God I’d hate to be Summer in someone’s story. And hell no would I ever want a Tom in my life (though I think Joseph Gordon-Lewitt looks gorgeous in this movie). This movie is based on real life and the only thing I can think of when I watch the movie: what if I end up Summer-ified in my reliationshiip one day, and what if he writes about me in a movie and people think I’m the villain? What happened to Summer is truly a horror scenario.

Let me tell you why:

The other day, I was watching Sloan Stowe’s video titled (500) Days of Summer Is a Revenge Movie. In the video, she talks about the blurred line between the plot and the real-life experiences of its creator Scott Neustadter. Watching Stowe talk about the role of Tom’s perspective in the audience’s perception of Summer made me think of a term coined by the internet a few months ago—the candid girlfriend. 

So, what is a candid girlfriend? On 31st of March of this year, the TikTok account @subwaytakes shared a video with the comedian Stef Dag, where she shared her hot take: “All guys think that they wanna date the cool, hot, artsy, baddie girl with like baby bangs and a bad father but that’s actually not the case at all. What all guys in New York want to date is the ‘candid girlfriend.’” 

She explains her model of a candid girlfriend: a 5’5” and a half girl who’s naturally thin with mousy brown hair. This girl is from New Hampshire, studied art history, and loving pomegranates is the biggest part of her personality. She has nothing going on in her brain her tastes only go so far as “liking good pottery.” Oh, also, her name’s Emily. 

The viewers of the Tiktok were torn, with people accusing Dag of projecting, asking her: “Who hurt you?” Most people thought Dag was the opposite of a “girl’s girl.” For some, she came off as a mean bully who stereotypes women. For others, her description became a funny game of put a finger down. To me, most missed the bigger picture. Yes, there’s a possibility she may have been projecting but Dag’s comical approach to “the patient zero of the pick-me-girl” is a commentary on misogyny and men’s outlooks on romantic relationships. 

Dag claims that men want candid girlfriends because they can make a muse out of her. The candid girlfriend is the subject of film camera photos, posing with a slight smile and a head tilt. She’s only a third slide on an IG photo dump, her sole purpose is honing the name “this one.” TikTok user @shantelrosseau explains the emergence of “candid girlfriends” with a common pattern in dating: women having to fit perfectly into the lives of men, and never the other way around. 

Candid girlfriends are likened to pick-me-girls because they both strive for a place in a man’s life. Where these two archetypes differ is that a pick-me-girl tries to be malleable and promotes herself as the perfect accessory. Dag’s candid girlfriend is a blank canvas who’ll naturally take up anything the boyfriend likes, do whatever he wants, and position herself as the girlfriend and the girlfriend only. (500) Days of Summer is a movie about a romance that didn’t work out; the reason it didn’t is because Summer Finn refused to be a candid girlfriend. 

During the movie, Tom’s focus is not on knowing the depths of Summer, but on fitting her into the image of “the one.” He’s a hopeless romantic, someone immersed in pop culture and movies. Everything in his world is fictionalized, so it’s only right for him to yearn for an epic romance. Summer is boiled down to her 70s haircut and the love of Smiths because, to Tom, she’s nothing but the woman he should marry. Summer Finn, however, is her person, who was never a blank canvas. Tom’s ideation of her paints an image of someone who’ll morph into his dreams, while disregarding her volition.

The depth of the candid girlfriend’s personality is limited to pomegranates and good pottery because that’s the only effort the boyfriend has put into learning about her. He doesn’t care to know everything about her, because her function in his life doesn’t require him to know these things. In the case of (500) Days of Summer, it’s the same. Sure, shared interests are important in a relationship, but for Tom, it’s the baseline of everything. His infatuation with Summer stems from a simple and short conversation about the Smiths. Their compatibility lies in the fact that they both like Magritte, Hopper, and Bananafish. Even his sister (the only sensible person in this movie, I swear) criticizes his excitement over trivial things. 

Even Summer’s background is a warped story given to the viewer by Tom. There’s no way of being completely certain that she helped increase ice cream or album sales with her looks. Stowe explains why Tom idealizes Summer this much: “...[B]ecause Summer is special to him, she has to be special to everyone.” Tom shows the viewer how special she is with his fabrications; the narrator helps him to do so. Like the candid girlfriend, Summer is unique, a prized lamb for show. Instead of an Instagram post, Summer’s uniqueness is the subject of a flashback reel. 

Tom’s lack of knowledge of Summer’s background is evident from the beginning of the movie. Summer is introduced as: “Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan,” a place that doesn’t exist. Summer moves to Los Angeles for her job from Michigan, that’s true, but Shinnecock is located in New York—a basic detail Tom doesn’t know. 

Moreover, Tom doesn’t care to know the depths of Summer. She’s just a gorgeous bubbly girl who likes him and the Smiths, so she’s the one. He makes it extremely clear in the scene where Summer takes him back to her apartment and tells him about a dream she has never told anyone. As viewers, we’re exempt from hearing this dream, and I’m sure Tom didn’t listen either. Tom isn’t concerned about the dream's meaning or Summer’s feelings. What he fixates on is the effect of Summer’s openness with him. The important thing to him is if anyone had reached this far into Summer’s heart. After Summer tells him she’s never told anyone about the dream, he replies: “I guess I’m not just anybody.” 

Tom’s objective is not to get to know Summer, to love her deeply for who she is, but to possess her and show her off as his. Tom wants her to be the shining light that will push him to become an architect, a happier person. He relies on her to be there for him, to be a stepping block. Her role is to be an accessory, just like Dag’s candid girlfriend. 

Summer’s not happy to be a muse. She doesn’t want to be limited to being someone’s muse. I believe Summer is painfully aware of Tom’s lack of interest in the essence of her, and that’s why her POV was cut off from the script. Deleted scenes show her lack of interest in Tom and unhappiness in their relationship, with her inner voice repeating “Please don’t talk to me.” 

In the end, Summer marries someone who comes up to strike up a conversation with her in a deli about the Picture of Dorian Gray. They end up conversing for hours, and a connection is formed. Tom’s romanticized version of events paints the picture of two individuals connecting, while it was missing the entire time. Tom, doesn’t care about that connection, while Summer (a sensible woman with different ideals in a relationship) is aware of the lack of that spark. There are no villains in this story. Sure, Neustadter’s Summer was his villain, but Summer can’t be at fault for not wanting to get candid girlfriend-ified. 

(500) Days of Summer shows the viewer how you can’t mold people into what you want in a romantic relationship, and that the candid girlfriend archetype is a desire, but not a commonly found one. Once you strip the story from Tom’s warped sense of love and desire, you’re left with the horror story of a woman yearning for connection and is instead forced into a shallow and romanticized relationship.

Sending all my love to Jenny Beckman.

---